Yesterday was my birthday and it made me think about birthdays in general. They do change over time as the excited kid becomes the overworked adult, and then, the elder appreciating each day that life continues. Your birthday is a special day.
But not everyone had good birthdays growing up. Sometimes it was an issue of a dysfunctional family. For others it was a matter of poverty. And in still others it was just not a big deal.
In my case, my younger sister, Amy, had a birthday just a week after mine. She was the baby. My parents “combined” the birthdays and it was celebrated on her day, not mine.
This got somewhat better as an adult, but I will never forget the year after my divorce. My parents and I and two of my sisters lived in the same town.
It was oppressively hot that day. I did expect at least a call. But by 7 PM I had given up. I was just sitting there thinking of making a sandwich and going to bed when my ex-husband showed up with flowers. He took me to dinner at a local haunt.
The next day I found out that my parents had taken Amy out to dinner at my favorite Italian place.
It was things like that which made me stop putting any attention on my own birthday.
The year I moved to Northern New Mexico, I arrived just a few days before my birthday. I didn’t know anyone. I thought to myself, if I go out alone and don’t tell anyone it will be pathetic. And if I do say something it is even worse.
So I spent the day doing some hard work on my new home and then made myself a nice dinner. And that seemed to be a good compromise.
One of the biggest changes to the whole birthday experience is the Facebook Birthday and it has changed everything. I have a decent following on Facebook and can expect hundreds of good wishes.
Yesterday was my 3rd pandemic birthday, living alone. Once again I stayed home. I got the kitchen clean, played with food, and read my Facebook messages. And I call that a good birthday.
How do you “do” your birthday? The biggest celebration possible? Hide out and hope it passes quickly? Or just go with the flow and try not to be disappointed?
Let me know in the comments!
Birthdays
From age 18 to 28, I never celebrated my birthday on it's actual day. That somehow shielded me from disappointment. Now I always celebrate. I insist on not working. I make plans in advance, even if they are (most often) plans by myself. I figure, why not? Better to celebrate being alive than the alternative, right?
Happy Birthday, Annabel!