On individualism and the ego: It is the damaged ego that makes a person "egotistical". Those with a healthy ego learn that none of us is special in the ultimate sense. As individuals we each are the center of our own universe and are wired to seek our own needs and desires.
And so are the other 8 billion souls on planet earth. We have developed hierarchical systems that give some persons greater status than others in our interactions, but one who wears today's crown will come to the same end as the one who cleans the toilets. And the cleaner has his own life that he is the center of as surely as the king. A bit like the turtle crossing the road in Grapes of Wrath. A minor character, but not to himself.
Once we truly understand this, we are freed of the need to be special and can be ourselves.
Good manners dictate that we keep the fact that WE are the center of the universe to ourselves. A healthy ego allows us to do that. And true charm is when you show enough genuine interest in the other to allow them to express a bit of their life--the one where they are the center.
All it requires is an understanding of social reality and the emotional health to act on that understanding.